Food Confessions

Oh hi, blog.  Long lost friend.  Let me invite you into my kitchen, where I will recap the conversation that just took place between me and my husband…….


Me: “Um, honey I have a confession.”

Oatmeal: “Okay.”

Me: “Well I said we would do the 30 day paleo challenge together, with the exception of last weekend for Jimmy’s wedding.  I knew I’d have some wine, and I did eat some cornbread at my dad’s house.  But I meant to get back on the wagon entirely yesterday and finish out the challenge.”

(Oatmeal said nothing.  He stopped stirring our dinner and looked at me, waiting to hear the rest.)

Lola:  “So this morning I was supposed to resume our challenge.  But I went to Starbucks and got some treats for a customer.  And I told myself I would just have a black coffee, but I had a latte and some chocolate banana bread instead.  For some reason I was just convinced that I had to have them.  Anyway I thought I’d confess because if I say it out loud then I will for sure get back on track tomorrow and just eat good food.”

(Translation: By latte and chocolate banana bread, I really mean TWO lattes and chocolate banana bread, but I was too shamed to tell Oatmeal this.)


Oatmeal stared at me.  He said nothing.

Me: “Look I don’t want any tough love or guilt tripping from you.  You say nothing.  I just wanted to confess.  Tomorrow I will eat right.  I want to finish the 2 weeks.  No grains, no dairy, no processed candy crap, no sugar.   But really, no tough love from you.  No guilt tripping me, that isn’t why I told you.”

Oatmeal:  “It’s okay honey.  Don’t feel bad.  Today I went to the store and bought an entire gallon of ice cream and I ate all of it.”

He then looks at me and laughs.  He is mocking me.  He would never eat a bite of ice cream, much less a gallon.  He has the willpower of, um, well something that has endless amounts of willpower.  Whatever that is.  A willpower machine.  My husband would simply not ever slip up, even once, during a challenge.  I both hate and admire him for his willpower.

I try to give him a steely, murderous glare but can’t help but laugh at what a freak he is.

We continue making dinner.  We pack our salads for lunch tomorrow, we sip our water, and we pour all the leftovers from tonight into bowls so that we can eat it for breakfast tomorrow.

Tomorrow’s lunch: Mixed greens, rotisserie chicken, avocado. Topped with almond slices, dressed with olive oil and lemon juice from a snack sized ziploc. Easy. Cheap. Paleo.

So, let me back up.

Last time I posted (and it’s been a while because of some frustrating internet connection problems at the new casa), I mentioned doing the Whole30 challenge.  I’ve always been really good at eating paleo at home.  You literally cannot find a non-paleo food option in my house unless we are having non-paleo eaters over for dinner, and even then I really don’t get too far off track.  (In our house, when we’re buying and preparing, I don’t feel bad making people eat healthy!)

But… I often find myself taking shortcuts while I’m working.  It starts out by eating a little bit of the candy that I like to take to my customers.  And sometimes I offer to bring lunch, and if they want chicken fingers, well I will end up eating them, too.  Stomach cramps be damned.

And my BIGGEST challenge (which if you know me well you know that I have fought this heroine-like addiction for about a decade now) is Starbucks.  Oh how I struggle to resist that milky, sugary, caramel topped, whipped creamed cup of pure lusciousness.  Someone could tell me I was poisoning myself from the inside out as I sipped it, and I’d just continue to gulp it down happily.  It’s like a food massage. It’s truly sick how much money and health I have lost at that stupid place.

I go through stages where I eat really clean paleo, and then I ever so gradually start to snack on candy or Starbucks or whatever crappy food that my coworkers or customers want me to order.  Soon I realize I need to cut back, but I am the personality type that has a very difficult time just “cutting back.”  So I usually take on some type of challenge, stripping all the junk out of my diet completely.  It’s always hard to get started, but literally EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. something really great happens and I feel a zillion times better.

So 2 weeks ago I asked Oatmeal to do the Whole30 Challenge with me.  I went ahead and added a bylaw that I’d have some wine and non-paleo foods on the day of my brother’s wedding, but other than that I was going to be hard core!  Oatmeal happily agreed, as he’s been trying to get me to stop eating the snacks and dairy for a while now.  Also, Poppyseed is a major spitter and had some pretty major cradle cap, and I’ve read SO MUCH about how this can be linked to dairy consumption.  Her doctor also advised me to give up ALL dairy (butter, milk, cream, cheese, even goat’s milk products) for a full 10 days to see if her cradle cap cleared or her spitting decreased.  But it’s HARD, and until this challenge I just could not seem to get past day 3 or 4.

Well I have to say, despite the conversation I shared with you above, I have done very well.  For 2 entire weeks I have been very strict and did not have a single bite to eat (or sip to drink) that wasn’t paleo.  I ate meat, fish, veggies, small amounts of fruit, nuts, and water.  I drank my coffee black and I drank small amounts of tea without sweeteners.  Just as always, I immediately saw positive effects.  I lost some bloat, my energy levels didn’t tank at 5 or 6pm, and I even seemed to be losing the very last bit of that post-baby muffin top.  (That alone is so worth doing a paleo challenge!)

So tomorrow I’ll just get back on track.  So I missed a few days, it’s no big deal.  That’s why I love paleo.  There are no points, no extra costs, no need to feel guilty (unless you live with the food police as I do), no counting calories, no weighing or measuring food.  Just eating right, immediately feeling good because of it, and seeing positive results.

This was dinner tonight. Acorn squash. Topped with locally raised pastured ground pork, onion, apple and kale. With cucumber water. I was sort of making it up as I went along but I loved the end result. Very autumn, very paleo!



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About Lola


  1. CourtneyG says:

    Dear Oatmeal,
    Please be kind to our sweet Lola and give her a break! My family, too, does a Paleo diet- however- we allow ourselves two cheat meals a week. (And FYI movie dates with popcorn and dinner afterwards counts as one meal ;D) This makes it nice for holidays and other special occasions as well. It seems to be more realistic for our kids. There are some foods that are traditional in our family (family recipes etc) and I still want our family to be able to enjoy them on occasion- guilt free- but still be committed to Paleo.

    As a nursing mama I can also vouch for the fact that sometimes we just need our coffee or a little snack or a little whatever and THAT’S OKAY!! Two cheats a week (or whatever works for you) will not hurt you. Honestly it won’t. So let go of that control just a little bit and enjoy life/food/your precious wife whatever. It’s not all about regimen.

    I say this with a loving heart. Sometimes it can be hard to interpret how things come across over the computer. But really, just enjoy and let go a little more. You have a wonderful wife any man would be lucky to have.

    Love to you all. I very much enjoy your blog and seeing sweet Poppy grow and grow. She is a beauty!

    Courtney G

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