Suddenly Stay at Home Mom

Yesterday was my first day to be a stay at home mom.

Or is it Stay At Home Mom?

Or is it more cool to just abbreviate and say SAHM?

I don’t really know.  I honestly don’t really know how I feel about the whole thing.  Most women choose this role, either long before giving birth or at some point on a maternity leave.  But me?  I chose to return to work.  I chose a daycare (and then another) and tried to set my life up in such a way that I’d be able to do as much as possible.  I moved my entire family and we bought a house with MY JOB in mind.

Side note:  YES, I feel somewhat idiotic for that now.  But if I were being honest (which I am) then I’d have to say I’m still somewhat grateful that we did move because it helped me to get out of the middle of nowhere.

My goal… well, I guess my goal was to do it all.  Be a wife/mother and make some income.

It was never my goal to be a real career woman.  I never cared one bit to climb the ladder.  I had no desire to be in management or to get promoted.  I was happy to be a peon, to just have my job and keep my benefits and paycheck.  I would have never accepted a job that required travel or extra hours or anything of the like.  I wanted first to be a wife and mother.  But.  A large part of me also wanted to work.

I wish I didn’t like to work.  But I do.  I like getting up and having a place to go.  I’ve always been able to be myself at work, yet a slightly different variety of myself.  I guess a corny way of saying it is that I may be Vanilla in real life, but maybe at work I could be Vanilla Bean.

Okay, that sounded ridiculous.  But perhaps you understand.

I don’t claim to have even half as much work ethic as some of my family members, but perhaps it is in my blood.  I also think it’s a  habit.  My dad gave me a choice when I was 16 – get a job or take summer classes.  I got a job, and I liked it.  I liked the structure, the expectations, the social interaction and the money.  Ever since getting that first part-time job, I’ve enjoyed working.

Now look, I am NOT saying that staying at home is not real work.  I hate when people say, “Well she just stays at home” about women.  JustReallyJust?  I’ve heard a lot of that since getting laid off.  “Oh well now you can just stay at home!”  “You can just be a mommy now!”

I can JUST be a mom?

Um, so you think I wasn’t a mom before?

What do people even mean by that?

So anyway.  Now I’m a just a stay at home mom.  I have to say, so far I have rather enjoyed it.  Yesterday and today we were in bed until 9am.  Yesterday we got up, met a friend for lunch, went to the mall, and then went for coffee.  ON A THURSDAY.  I still got home in time to make Oatmeal dinner, pick up the house, and pack his breakfast and lunch for today.  Today I slept in again and then I drove around town with a friend and then got some lunch at Ninfas before coming home and taking down our Christmas decorations.

I have so much…… time.  No more running around and working and pumping and staying up until 11pm checking work email so that I didn’t have to spend more time away from Poppyseed.  I have been able to just sit.  Sitting is nice.

But anyway, I am a little skeptical about this new role.  Like I said above, most people choose this.  They have a long talk with their spouses and decide it is their personal choice.  For me, well, it was chosen for me.  On one hand, I’m so thrilled. I had the opportunity to go back to work and see that I could do it.  It was really freaking hard, but I was handling it okay.  My daughter was thriving and I was happy with our schedule and felt confident that she was still getting all the love and attention that a wee one needs.  And now it’s like the man upstairs is saying, “Um, excuse me child.  Go home to your daughter.  Seriously.  Just do it, you’ll be happier for it and your entire family will benefit.”

I am thankful.  I am lucky.  I have a gorgeous baby girl.  I have an unbelievably supportive husband.  It is unreal how awesome he has been through all of this.  He told me this weekend that he would get a second job sweeping a warehouse before he would let me worry about my own income.  He is happy that I got laid off.   He said something like, “Yeah honey, I am happy you are at home now.  You were running around like crazy before.  Now you can just relax and really think about what you want to do.  You’ll still be busy, but you won’t have so many different things on your plate all the time now.”

But I can’t help it.  I am nervous.  It is such a big change.  It’s not only a huge change in my day to day activity and life, but it’s a huge change in our income.  Oatmeal is absolutely the main breadwinner, but it’s not like I was just making shopping money.  There will be changes, and it makes me nervous.

But, in typical Oatmeal fashion, he challenged me.

“Honey, I want you to find a job where you can work whenever you want.  Work 4 hours a day.  If you really think about it, most people who work full time jobs really only work about 4 hours a day anyway.  The rest of the time they spend jabbering or story telling or drinking coffee or whatever.  So work four hours a day.  Start your own business somehow.  Just try to figure out a way to make a hundred bucks.  That’s it.  Just make a hundred bucks.  And then go from there.”

Um, okay.  That’s a pretty tall order that is disguised as a short order, but I’ll work on it.

Ever since he told me that, I’ve been trying to figure out how to make my blog something.  I don’t know what yet, but something interesting.  I have started making lists and hoping that if I work my way through them I will figure something out, one blog at a time!

Blog Rules

What can I say?  I am kind of a nerd.  And I’m really ADD.  If I don’t have a list, I just find myself walking around the house with a bag of chocolate chips in one hand and a broom in the other, wondering where I put the clean laundry I just folded.  So I make lists and I check them off as I go.

To Do

Speaking of being ADD, I took a picture of Poppyseed today that I adore.  You see, I bought her a wooden salad (yep, you read that correctly) for Christmas.  And then my friend came into town and gave her a shirt that had says “I Heart NYC.”  The “I” is a hot dog, and the “Heart” is a pretzel.  Irony?  Yes.

Poppyseed with salad toy

My baby just woke up.  The end of this post.

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  1. I love your blogs. I will try to make a better habit of commenting on them. 🙂 I am very jealous of your new role. In order for me to be a SAHM, we would have to move…like into a tiny apartment! Thankfully, I have the next best thing… Christy!

    • Crystal, I completely understand! There are definitely pros and cons to each side of the fence, but you are so right that the grass is a little greener on the side of the fence that Christy is on! 😀 I wish my sister were in town, I’d trust her with my kiddos in a second.

  2. I love the wooden salad! I also love that adorable baby wearing the carb/junk food loaded t-shirt! Man she’s cute!

  3. I agree with Crystal….I love your blogs!! I always read them in the mornings at about 5:30 am before I get out of bed. Great way to start the day!!

  4. I Love that you are able to stay at home! I wasn’t able to until my daughter was five. I just made my first $100 in my craft business after two months..slow going but I made my first goal! 😉 you can too!

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