TMI Tuesday – Ovulation Contemplation

I’ve been looking forward to sitting down and writing in my blog all day now.  I miss it and I always think of little things I want to put down on paper (ie computer screen) while I’m out and about.  And of course, I knew that I was going to put the word “ovulation” in the title of this blog and that was something to look forward to.

But first of all, an update in pictures.

We had a good weekend.  We went to Sealy to watch my FIL speak at a high school graduation ceremony on Friday night, which was a lot of fun because Poppyseed got to play with her cousins.

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On Saturday morning we drove Oatmeal to his office so that he could get some extra work finished.  While he worked Poppyseed and I drove to Cypress to watch her cousins compete in a swim meet.

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I love that she gets to see her cousins so often.  Oatmeal called us around lunch time and said he was finished working, and so we went back to Katy to pick him back up and returned home.  Both Oatmeal and Poppyseed were so tired from the late night before that I put them both to bed at 5:30pm!  Yes… 5:30pm!!  As soon as the house was quiet, I flew the coop and went for a pedicure.  Oh, pedicures…I used to get one at least every other week, but now I’m lucky to sneak one in every 2-3 months.  I spent the hour flipping through magazines that I used to read weekly and feeling very old and out of touch that I no longer know many of the celebrity faces on those pages.

Until I turned to this interview with Gwyneth Paltrow.  So, for those of you who don’t know my mom, she can be a total goof.   She is always telling people that they look like people that they really don’t look anything like at all.  For example, she has told me for at least 10 years that I look like Gwyneth.  I mean yes, we both have blonde hair and pointy elbows.  If that makes us twinkies then I guess Mom has a point.  But honestly it’s always just caused me to sort of roll my eyes and say, “Yeah Mom, uh huh.  You always say that I look like Gwyneth Paltrow.  No, no one else has ever told me that.  Ever.  Just you.  Yes, really.”

Well, maybe I’m just as nuts as she is, but when I saw this picture in the magazine, I couldn’t help but look twice.

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It looked strangely like, well…. my mother.  Try to forget that Gwyneth Paltrow is in her 40s and my mother is 16 in this picture.  Am I the only person who sees somewhat of a similarity?  Yes?  No?  I’m crazy?

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Anyway, ole GW also made a comment in her interview that struck me so much that I took a picture of it.  She was being interviewed about her children, and how she is at her happiest when she is at home with them.

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Yep Gwynie, I know that feeling of bliss you speak of.

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Baby in hooded towel every night = almost impossible to put to bed because she is just the sweetest thing in the world to hold. BLISS.

I eventually finished with my pedicure and went and did some grocery shopping.  I stayed up too late making paleo fudge in the kitchen and drinking red wine by myself (don’t judge me for admitting that this is exactly how I prefer to spend my weekend nights nowadays).

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Made with pumpkin puree, almond butter and coconut oil. Because I like fall flavors in the summer, okay?

I went to bed after 1/3 of a bottle of red wine and still awoke less than 4 hours later to the house shaking.  Literally shaking.  Now let me tell you, I do not EVER wake up during bad weather.  I’ll be talking to someone at breakfast and they will say, “Oh my gosh did you hear the thunder at 3am?  It was so loud!” and I’ll respond with, “It rained last night?”  But on Saturday night I literally woke up convinced that the house was going to crumble.  I turned on the weather channel asap and confirmed that there were no tornadoes, but even then I was afraid to go back to sleep.  When the sun came up, sure enough, our fence had blown over.  Luckily our neighbors are all just as handy as Oatmeal when it comes to repairing things.

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Oops. Oatmeal patched this section with chicken wire for the time being. He’ll be building a new fence next weekend!

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We had never met the neighbors behind us until the fence that separated our yards was down. Oatmeal isn’t really much for being unnecessarily social with the neighbors, but he really enjoyed getting to know those guys while they worked.

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Poppyseed was really intrigued by all of the work going on outside.

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View from my bedroom window at 7am the morning after the storm.

Anyway, as you can tell we had a pretty basic and enjoyable little weekend with family and at home.  And then today, I took a test.

So those of you who read often know that last month I was convinced I was preggers again.  I mean, I went to the doctor and asked for a urine test and was 200% sure it would be positive.  I would have bet a thousand bucks on it.  And it wasn’t.  Nope, it was negative.  I’d had all of these crazy pregnancy symptoms… nausea, food aversions, awake at 3am with an upset stomach, felt exhausted, unable to sleep at night…. I mean it was exactly like my pregnancy with Poppyseed.  And honestly, for those 2 weeks that I thought I was pregnant, I was happy about it.

When I found out that I was wrong, I was really sad.  I was so convinced that something had happened that I even wondered if maybe I was “almost” pregnant and maybe the implantation didn’t happen.  I was 2.5 weeks late, so obviously something was going on.

Anyway, I think that it made me realize that maybe I’m just not ready for another baby.  Poppyseed is only 13 months old after all.

So last week I planned a trip to visit my sister in Japan.  We are traveling in July, and I’ll be gone for 10 days.  I’m taking Poppyseed with me, and I know better than to think a 13.5 hour flight to Tokyo (alone) is going to be easy.  And I can’t help but remember being 6 weeks pregnant on a flight from Key West to Houston…. and spending the ENTIRE flight in the lavatory.

It.  Was.  Awful.  There was NOTHING that those flight attendants could say to me that would get me out of that teeny tiny bathroom.  So last week I booked my tickets and thought, “Okay, so I reeeeeaaaaallllly don’t need to get pregnant between now and July.  If I’m sick on a flight that long with a baby I may die.  Just die.”

Then I got a wild hair this morning and took this test.  Oh my.

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No, that is not a pregnancy test.  It’s an ovulation test.  People, I have never run AWAY from my husband so fast.  I have no idea how long I need to avoid him (my ovulation app says 48-72 hours) but I have concocted a list of ways to stay far far away until then.

1. Encourage him to work late.  “Oh you need to stay at the office all night?  Go ahead honey, I’ll just sleep in the guest room with the baby!”

2. Begin cooking intricate recipes in the kitchen at about 8pm each night.  “Oh you’re going to bed right now?  I just finished boiling this chicken so I need to pick it apart with my bare hands right now.  You go on ahead.  Sleep tight!”

3. Plug in our only TV in the house.   Call the cable company (we don’t have cable).  Tell them I need the channel that plays NCIS as soon as possible and have it turned on when he walks in the door.  This is a sure fire way to make sure he goes straight to the couch and does not move.  He will probably fall asleep in his clothes and remain there until morning.

4. Under no circumstances am I to wear blue jeans in his presence.

5. Absolutely no drinking at all.  If I get all boozed up I’ll inevitably start getting crazy ideas about how my next pregnancy could be different and wouldn’t it be fun to have two babies under 2.

6. He also may not drink anything with alcohol.  He is just too darn cute when he’s tipsy.  Also he forgets the meaning of the word “no.”

7.  Insult his dog right before bedtime.  He’ll be so annoyed with me that he’ll fall asleep with his back toward me.

8. Tell him that if we were to make a baby tonight, it would most likely be another girl due to the time of cycle.  (Which is actually the opposite of the truth.  If he knew that my ovulation tracker was saying that our chances of conceiving a boy are highest for the next 48 hours then I’d be in trouble.)

Wish me luck on not getting pregnant this week.  😉

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