The Second First Pregnancy Post

It seems crazy that I’m already pregnant again.  What’s even crazier is to think about how really, my two kids aren’t going to really be THAT close in age.  28 months isn’t all that close compared to other families.  It’s pretty standard.  I have friends who have had their kids as close to 11 months apart.  (No comment on how intentional that was!)  But nonetheless, I feel like I already have a baby and now I’m having another baby.

Only really, I guess my baby isn’t all that much of a baby anymore.

She’s turning into a little girl.  A little bitty lady, even.

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And a little cowgirl.

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Look at her.  She weighs 27lbs.  That horse probably weighs 1200lbs.  Clearly she is unaware of that.

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So I asked Oatmeal last night, “Is it hard for you to imagine loving another baby as much as you love Poppyseed?”

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His answer, “Nope.  I’ll love them both the same.”

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And he will.

The most awesome, wonderful thing about this pregnancy is that this time, I also have that much confidence.

At this stage in the game with my first pregnancy, I was completely frazzled.  I was nervous.  Totally unsure of what we were going to do.  I had a job, a commute, a new marriage, a good paycheck – all of these things.  We hadn’t saved any money.  We were just getting things going as a married couple.  And I had no idea how I’d make them all fit together with a little baby.  Everywhere I looked it seemed like someone was talking/blogging/singing about how hard it was to be a parent.  Babies are expensive/exhausting – that’s all that you hear sometimes.

I hate that I wasted so much of my pregnancy with Poppyseed worrying.

I used to vent to Oatmeal about all of these trivial and overly dramatic concerns until one night he’d had it.  I mean it – he kind of blew up – he’d simply had enough.

“Look, it’s not going to be that hard.  It’s going to be great.  It’s going to be awesome.  Why are you sitting here and complaining about it already?  The baby isn’t even here yet and you’re already complaining about hard life is going to be.  How do you know it will be hard?  So what if everyone says it’s hard.  Everyone else sucks.  Why do you have to be negative like everyone else?  I didn’t know that you were like that.”

(Not kidding.  This is really how his brain works.  And it’s why I love him.  In between the times that I want to hit him.)

I would get so frustrated with him!  It wasn’t that I meant to complain about my  unborn child.  I was just nervous – I was feeling completely unprepared and completely out of control.

Luckily, this time I’m not feeling that way.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am completely bracing myself for that reality check of having two kids.  Two carseats.  Two mouths to cook for, three times a day, for the better part of the next two decades.  Two simultaneous temper tantrums.  Two runny noses.  Two college funds.  I get it.

Well, I don’t get it yet, but I’m sure I will soon enough.

But the awesome thing about this pregnancy is that, well, I understand how much love I am going to feel this time.  I get that now.

I have plenty of friends who have kids and plenty of friends who don’t.  It’s a lot of fun to talk to all of my friends and it cracks me up to talk to my childless ones.  Of course I don’t mean to trivialize their feelings when they question whether or not they should begin their own families.  I don’t mean to shake my head and oversimplify things when they reference the cost of daycare in their area, or the amount of debt they still want to pay off, or the recreational goals they want to cross off of their list before they have kids.  I said all the same stuff.  100 times.  10000 times.  Yet the other day, I tried to explain how silly all of that stuff really is in the grand scheme of things.

“Look, I know you won’t really understand this, because it’s just impossible to understand until you’re there.  But I used to love my job, and love having the extra money, and love just being a wife.  But then I had Poppyseed.  And now, even on an off week when she is acting especially toddlerish, I still find that I look at her several times a week and…. literally, my heart bursts.  IT BURSTS.  I love her so much I seriously feel that my HEART IS BURSTING.  That is how it feels!  Nothing else in my life ever made me feel like that.  I mean, never one time when I was at work did I feel my heart literally explode with love.  Not once have I felt anything like this toward any other person, any job, or any experience.  I never went on vacation and felt that happy.  I never got a promotion and felt so worthy.  I don’t know what else to say… being a mom makes my heart just burst.”

Yeah I’m pretty sure I lost my audience.  But, you other moms know what I’m talking about.

I’ll cut the crazy mushiness and just throw in a few fun pregnancy updates so that I can (hopefully) remember as much about this pregnancy as I did with my first.

Early signs and symptoms: I took a positive test before I felt any pregnancy symptoms, but around 4.5 weeks I realized I hadn’t had any coffee in a few days.  I wasn’t missing it at all, and in fact it sounded really terrible to me.  At 6 weeks I started feeling really nauseous anytime I would smell hot food and began craving foods that are cold/crunchy/salty.  Again, this was just like with Poppyseed!  All of those yucky feelings peaked at 8-9 weeks, but thankfully after that I felt normal again.  With P it was 12-13 weeks before I felt like myself, so I’m very very thankful to be feeling so good (other than just being really tired).

Cravings: From weeks 4-10, I pretty much only wanted salads, smoothies, spicy things, and sushi.  I love sushi when I’m pregnant.  I know that’s supposed to be a no-no, and I completely understand the risks.  But I can’t lie.  The truth is that I LOVE it, and I CRAVE it, and I did visit Japan this summer.  And there were plenty of Japanese pregos eating sushi.  And they were all fine.  So I’m just going to go with it.  I love raw fish wrapped in cold rice when I’m pregnant.  The end.  (I also think it’s kind of ridiculous that American women make this huge fuss about avoiding raw fish and raw cheese, and yet if a pregnant woman is found eating a mystery meat burger and a diet coke at a fast food chain, no one says a thing.  Because babies grow really well with a little trans fat and artificial sweeteners, right?  Am I really the only person who thinks about that?   Girls, I want a McDonalds hashbrown every single morning.  I do, I admit it.  But there are seriously like 3 grams of trans fast in that thing.  No way.)

Weight gain:  So, getting pregnant during the holidays is confusing.  I gained about 6-7lbs between November and December, and I’m 99% sure it’s just from food.  I’ve been slowly losing the holiday bloat and the scale has been dropping back down to my normal weight, but a small bulge in my belly remains.  I find myself wondering, “Is it too early to be showing?  Is that little pooch a baby, or just a food baby?”

I’ll start getting Oatmeal to take some pictures and y’all can tell me what you think.

Speaking of what you think, I need some help.  Just like with Poppyseed, we are not going to find out the sex of this baby until it is born.  That means we have 30+ weeks ahead of us without being able to say “he” or “she.”  That is exactly why we nicknamed our first baby “Poppyseed” until she was born.  It was really fun to have a name for our surprise baby instead of just calling it “the baby’ or “it” every single time we talked about her.  Well, I’ve been calling this new baby “Middle” in my head for weeks now.  The only reason is because we have always said we’d like to have 3-4 kids, so this baby is supposedly going to be our middle kid.  Oatmeal and I are both middle kids, so it works for me.  Unfortunately others do not seem to think it’s cute.  I’ve gotten a few weird looks and even some lectures that I shouldn’t count my chickens before they hatch.  I don’t know, I thought people would get it and think it was cute, but I guess they don’t.  Is Middle a dumb nickname?  Our nieces suggested Peanut.  A friend suggested Nugget.  What do you think?  Any clever/cute gender neutral nickname ideas?  I’m all ears.

 

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Comments

  1. I think call the kid what you want. It’s your kid. Middle is cute but so is bean since you found out at Starbucks. Love y’all. Seriously what should I start knitting?

    • Gabe I’ve been thinking long and hard about this! Maybe a little gray hat for the winter? Baby will be about 4 months old in December and if it’s like Poppyseed, it won’t have any hair by then. 🙂

  2. I bet it’s a tiny baby bump!!! The second baby shows a lot faster than the first, especially when it’s multiples! 😉 What about Bean Sprout?

  3. I like Peanut or Pickle! I have to admit I was totally confused on the middle thing, but it is your little one growing, call it whatever you want:)

  4. I love the bean suggestion! Also, I’m glad I’m not the only one who eats sushi while pregnant! My best friend is Japanese, and we were pregnant at the same time with my first, and her philosophy is just like you said – everyone from her country eats it while pregnant, so what’s the big deal? We would meet and eat sushi all the time to satisfy our cravings. It’s one of the few foods that is healthy and fresh and not greasy and thus not nausea inducing. Love it normally, but even more when I’m pregnant. It’s funny, because I have an almost 16-month-old daughter (close in age to Poppyseed) and I just found out that I’m (about 4 weeks) preggo with #2! We actually went out to eat sushi to celebrate 😉 So I’ll be following along your 2nd pregnancy with great interest! I’m hoping that my nausea is not nearly as long as it was the first time too…fingers crossed…are you eating any differently this time around? I’ll be trying for mostly Paleo (as I definitely went off the bandwagon the first time) and see if it makes any difference.

    • That is so great about your second pregnancy… congrats! And I’m glad I’m not the only prego eating sushi (although I won’t be eating any for the next 21 days if I stick to this blasted Whole30!)

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