Final Days of Freedom

I’m sitting at a coffee shop with my feet up.  Today has been so relaxing.

Don’t think I haven’t relished every minute.

Oatmeal woke up at 5:30am and starting rustling around the house.  A half hour later Poppyseed was up, too.  I made her get in bed with me and enjoyed our regular snuggling session before taking her downstairs to see what Daddy was up to.  He had made her breakfast and put it into her lunchbox, switched her car seat to his vehicle, and the engine was already running.  They were on the road by 6:45am, off to Gommy’s house for a day of cousins, horseback riding, swimming, and building fences.  She sat in her car seat and waved happily at me and said, “Bye bye Mommy, love you!” in between bites of blueberries and sausage.

I felt a little bit of a lump in my chest as they drove off, which is always par for the course when my child goes barreling down the highway with someone other than me.  Yes, even when she is with Oatmeal, I worry.  I probably always will.

I thought about going back to bed, but the weather was nice and I decided to go on a walk. It’s so nice to go on walks without a toddler always asking to go to the park and/or insisting that she push her own stroller.  I walked two miles with our dogs and then went home, showered off, and went to a yoga class.  There is a new yoga studio in College Station, and let me tell you folks, it is the best studio I’ve ever been to.  (I guess I’ve only ever been to 4 or 5, but it is hands down the best.)  I found this class called Restorative Yoga, and I can really only compare it to a nap.  Literally, all you do is lie around in different poses and relax.  For an entire hour.  I am able to get more comfortable on all of their weird pillows and blankets than I’ve ever been in my life, pregnant or not.  My lower back has had some type of tweak in it lately that makes me really uncomfortable, and the only time it ever loosens up is during and immediately this class.  So that was awesome, and if you live in College Station, I highly highly recommend it.

After the class I was starving.  I decided to drive all the way to Village Cafe in Bryan.  I sat down and ate a delicious omelet and drank Topo Chico while eying the other people who were drinking bottomless mimosas.

“Soon enough,” I thought.

I topped it all off with a trip to Best Buy to get an iPad case (I ended up ordering on on Amazon Prime for $23 cheaper while standing in the store) and a quick run into Lowes for some odds and ends.

Then I came home and took a nap.  A 2 hour nap.

Today was luxury.  Pure luxury.  I did whatever I wanted to do.  No one depended on me for a darn thing and I loved every minute of it.  It’s all about to change.

But in all reality, it’s safe to say that a switch has flipped in my mind.  I’m officially obsessed with my unborn baby.  Last night Oatmeal and I were driving to what was probably our last date night, and I told him, “Honey, I’m ready.  Really ready.  There isn’t a 30 second period that goes by where I’m not thinking about the baby.  I’m constantly thinking about taking my alfalfa supplements, doing pelvic rocks, stopping to do a few squats, trying to find something else to wash so that our house is clean… the list goes on.  I’m nervous about the actual birth because I know it will be hard, but I’m so ready.”

I feel kicks and can literally put my hand on my belly and feel the outline of a foot.  I’m able to feel the exact length of that little foot and imagine that baby actually BEING here.  What is our baby going to look like?  Is it a girl or a boy?  Will it look like Poppyseed?  Will it nurse well?  Will it be calm and peaceful or wired and alert?  Will I wake up in the morning and let it burrow into my chest and kiss it all over while simultaneously trying to keep older sister from pouncing on it?

I can’t wait to feel my heart expand with the love of TWO kids.  I think I’ve said this on my blog before, but I have never worried that I won’t be able to love this baby as much as I love Poppyseed.  Even though I feel like she has taken up every bit of my heart, I know I’ll love this next baby just as much.  There is a comfort in that confidence, actually, because at this stage in the game with Poppyseed I had absolutely no idea how much I could love a baby.  Now that I know, it’s even more exciting to meet this kid.

Poppyseed Smiling in the Tub

Well I just wanted to take the time to sit down and just leisurely type.  My family should be home soon, and I’m told they are hoping for a snack when they arrive.  🙂

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Comments

  1. Christy says:

    I never worried that I could not love another child as much as AB. Like you, I was very confident that my heart was capable of expanding to accommodate the amount of love it would hold for the both of my girls. I was NOT prepared for the guilt that would come with being consumed with the needs of a newborn. Be sure to plan some special time for just you and Poppyseed. It is going to be more wonderful than you can even imagine!!!

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