2 Week Postpartum and Baby Update

I wanted to write a brief blog just to document how I’m feeling and how Baby Middle is doing.  To be honest, I’m pretty tired and don’t feel like writing much, but I so enjoy looking back on the blogs that I wrote when Poppyseed was born, and I want to have the same experience with Middle!  But geez, it is much more tiring to have two babies and much more difficult to find extra time in our days…

Anyhoo.

With regard to how I’m feeling at 2 weeks postpartum…

  • Physical (the good) – It’s hard to describe how my body feels these days, because in all honesty it’s a mixed bag.  On the positive side, I feel like I have much more energy now than I did when Poppyseed was 2 weeks old.  I feel like I’m sleeping better than I did with her, which may be because we are cosleeping and I only wake briefly to feed before we each fall back asleep.  It’s really nice to have more mobility and flexibility again instead of hauling such a big belly.  And remember all of the complaining that I was doing about the varicose veins in my legs, thighs and, ahem, groin area?  Those problems are of the past!  Everything is back to the way it used to be pre-baby, and for that I am so thankful!  It’s also so glorious that I didn’t tear when giving birth to Middle (which is amazing considering they told me at my 32 week ultrasound that his head was huge and measuring 35-36 weeks) so I am really happy that I don’t have to suffer any discomfort from that.
  • Physical (the not so good) – I don’t know if it’s just August in Texas or this has something to do with the fact that I just had a baby, but holy pit stains.  I sweat constantly.  I take a shower every morning and I still feel sweaty and smelly by 10am.  Night time is worse and I find that I wake up on soaked sheets, so I’ve been sleeping on a towel so I can throw it off the side of the bed at 3am when it gets out of hand.
  • Emotional (the good) – Overall I think that my attitude and emotions are pretty good, especially this week.  I feel like I’ve “attached” to Baby Middle much faster than I did when Poppyseed was born.  When Poppyseed was born I felt a very primal and protective love for her right away, but it was probably a few months/weeks before I would look at her and feel that sappy type of mommy love.  With Middle it was almost instant.  I know that probably sounds horrible, and I question this feeling a lot.  Did I attach to him faster because I now know what it’s like to have a child?  Did Poppyseed teach me how full my heart could be, and so I just automatically feel that toward him?  Or is this the mommy-son bond that people speak of?  Either way it’s a pretty neat feeling, and I love each of my children in a way I cannot express.
  • Emotional (the challenges) – I probably cried every day during my first week, and I think it was just because I was tired and hormonal.  This week has been tear-free (for me at least) but I still have at least one moment each day of feeling completely frustrated.  It is usually when the baby is tired but won’t sleep, at which time Poppyseed will decide she needs a snack/to go outside/wants to brush my hair.  (She is obsessed with brushing my hair, which requires me sitting Indian style in front of a mirror.  Not so easy to do with a screaming newborn.)  So during those moments I usually feel  my heart race, pits start to sweat (lovely, ha), and I feel a streak of frustration/anger/resentment come over me.  Usually I can talk myself down from these hard minutes by reminding myself, “This is just a stage… each of your children are fine… just do the best you can, this too shall pass.”
  • Breastfeeding (the good) – Breastfeeding is far easier this time, probably because I’ve been there and done that.  I am feeding on demand, though I will admit I am trying to stretch feedings to every 2 hours.  (That went completely out the window today when I basically nursed from 12pm-6pm straight, only taking breaks to eat and drive.)  It’s much easier to latch Middle than it was to latch Poppyseed, and he definitely seems to be getting plenty of milk based on his ability to soil 12 or more diapers a day!  It’s also much easier to go with the flow because I know that breastfeeding a 3 month old baby is WAY easier than breastfeeding a 2 week old.  So in short, I know that I’m probably at the most challenging stage right now.  I’ve just got to power through.
  • Breastfeeding (the challenging) – With both kids I have became so engorged that I could barely move without hurting.  My milk came in at Day 2 and that night I pumped almost 12 ounces and STILL felt engorged.  My boobs are now a size that I didn’t know existed.  What comes after DD anyway?  DDD?  E?  Too friggin’ big is what.  Any bra made of anything other than cotton and elastic is out of the question, I may never be able to wear underwire again.  I have a huge cyst on my right side that appeared at this exact same stage with Poppyseed and looks sort of like a third boob.  Awesome.  Every time Middle latches on the left side my toes curl in pain.  I have to put a wash cloth over myself in the shower because even the feeling of water running over my nipples is too much friction on those poor things.  But, as I said above, I at least know that this is the hardest part and if I can just get to weeks 4-6 I’ll (likely) have the worst behind me!  Breastfeeding turned out to be one of my favorite things about having a baby once we each got the hang of it, and I look forward to enjoying it eventually.
  • Marriage – I asked Oatmeal yesterday something along the lines of, “So do you feel like you are just nicer and more patient with me this time, or do you think that I am just easier to deal with?”  He smiled and said, “You’re easier to deal with this time.”  I actually feel like it’s the opposite!  I feel as if he is so supportive lately.  My memory of our first few months with Poppyseed is full of good memories, sure, but I also remember feeling resentful and as if Oatmeal just simply didn’t understand (nor try to understand) the physical and emotional aspects that I felt as new mother.  I couldn’t feel more differently now.  He has gone out of his way to adjust his work schedule so that he can help me in the early mornings and still be home for dinner.  He is the most wonderful and doting father to Poppyseed, which I appreciate so much when I am glued to my recliner nursing and unable to really play with her.  And he just seems a bit more patient.  He is never going to be someone I would describe as compassionate, but he is at least more patient now.  I’ll take it.  I married a good one.  Having a newborn can be taxing to a marriage, but feeling supported and as if you’re a team is amazing.
  • What Baby Middle is up to – At 2 weeks old, Middle is beginning to show more comfort in this brand new world!  He basically nursed and slept his way through his first ten days.  Any time that wasn’t spent nursing or sleeping was probably spent crying.  Today was actually the first time that I took him somewhere (the gym) and he was awake, alert, and NOT crying for a little while!  It was so nice to be able to just hold him and coo at him and give him little kisses while he laid on my legs.  Currently my biggest challenge is getting him to sleep without nursing.  We will nurse, then he will fall asleep, and the minute I unlatch him and try to put him down… he wakes up.  So we take it from the top and begin nursing again.  I have to admit, this is wearing me down.  I’ve been trying and trying to get him to take a pacifier, but until tonight my success rate was quite low.  But right now we are actually reaching a milestone… I swaddled him for the first time and he is sleeping in the Moses basket next to my bed with his paci.  I have loved cosleeping with him, and I’m not necessarily going to say that I’m ready for him to sleep in his crib.  I want him to be close to me and I do love those late night cuddles and feeling the weight of his little body on mine.  On the other hand I would love to sleep without a baby touching me for a few hours here and there, just because I know I’ll be able to sleep a bit more deeply and feel more rested.

So…. in a nutshell, that is where we are!  Here are a few pictures to show off.

Sleepy little fellow.

Sleepy little fellow.

 

He always makes this sweet little pucker face after he nurses!  Love.

He always makes this sweet little pucker face after he nurses! Love.

Tiny little fingers.  Both Oatmeal and my dad have commented that he already has "man hands."

Tiny little fingers. Both Oatmeal and my dad have commented that he already has “man hands.”

He looks so tiny in his carseat!  I can't wait until he has some meat on his bones and looks more comfortable in there.

He looks so tiny in his carseat! I can’t wait until he has some meat on his bones and looks more comfortable in there.

I was told at one of my ultrasounds that he had a full head of hair.  Um, right.

I was told at one of my ultrasounds that he had a full head of hair. Um, right.

This is pretty typical when he isn't sleeping or eating.

This is pretty typical when he isn’t sleeping or eating.

This little munchkin still accompanies me to Starbucks each morning.

This little munchkin still accompanies me to Starbucks each morning.

Oatmeal has taken up many of the tasks that Mommy used to do, including ponytails artistry.

Oatmeal has taken up many of the Mommy tasks, including ponytail artistry.

Tummy time aka put your face as close to your sibling's face as possible.

Tummy time aka put your face as close to your sibling’s face as possible.

I somehow managed to keep her busy for an hour today by giving her sidewalk chalk and a rag and telling her to draw on a table and then clean it.  WINNING.

I somehow managed to keep her busy for an hour today by giving her sidewalk chalk and a rag and telling her to draw on a table and then clean it. WINNING.

Meanwhile, he just slept in his bouncer.

Meanwhile, he just slept in his bouncer.

Typical weekend tomfoolery.

Typical weekend tomfoolery.

A quick little mommy-daughter date to see some horses.

A quick little mommy-daughter date to see some horses.

Several friends have dropped off paleo meals.  I have never appreciated anything more!  It's also been great for Poppyseed to eat new and unfamiliar recipes.   She is such a great little eater!

Several friends have dropped off paleo meals. I have never appreciated anything more! It’s also been great for Poppyseed to eat new and unfamiliar recipes. She is such a great little eater!

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