Welp, we’re outta here.

I wish I had something exciting to type today, but the life of an overdue prego is really quite boring.  I walk, I eat, I walk, I bounce around on my birth ball, I walk, I squat, I walk, I take a bath, I walk, I tweeze my eyebrows, I walk, I eat an apple while bouncing on my birth ball, I consider getting a pedicure but decide against it because it would be my third of the week, I walk.

I text my husband.  I beg him to come home.  So that we can go on a walk.

You get the idea.

Meanwhile, in the world of world news today, Jessica Simpson announced “I’m still pregnant.”  Reading that made me want to throw my laptop into the wall because she is due after me.  I do not care one bit that she is still pregnant.

So this morning, it’s Saturday, I’m 5 days overdue.  I’ve been on pre-maternity Leave (which seemed like such a wonderful thing at first, but now it feels more like house arrest) for four weeks now.  FOUR WEEKS.  Of waiting.  and…. waiting.

I finally realized that I just have to get out of this house.  So I just finished reorganizing all of our hospital bags and am waiting on Oatmeal to finish mowing the grass, and then we are getting in the car and heading to Aggieland where Poppyseed is to be born.  We’re just going to rent a hotel room for the night, and then maybe for another night, and another night… until the baby arrives.  Because honestly, I can’t clean my house one more time.  I can’t text anyone else, “Nope. No baby yet.”  I can’t be here anymore without my baby.  Somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder if I’ve been holding onto Poppyseed subconsciously because I’m afraid of going into labor while Oatmeal is at work (and since he’s been either at work or driving to work 80+ hours a week that is a valid concern), or I worry that maybe I am subconsciously afraid of going into labor 70 miles from the hospital.  So, off we go.  I know that these nerves will seem so trivial and insignificant once Poppyseed is actually here, but right now I feel so self-absorbed and obsessed with going into labor.  It is the most insane I have ever felt, it’s like I can barely hear anything because it seems like my heart is beating in my ears so loud that it is literally drowning out the rest of the world.  There are big problems in the world today – people dying, child molesters, drug gangs, war zones, billion dollar deals being made… and all I can think about is how the entire universe would be right if only my water would break.

So, if I can’t break my own water, I will just pack up my stuff and leave my home and hope that by changing MY scenery, Poppyseed will choose to change his/her scenery, too.

But first, a walk down memory lane.   I found all these pictures.  It makes me laugh to look at them.  WOW, I used to be skinny.  At five days post-due, I cannot even believe that these first pictures were my body less than 1 year ago.  It is surreal to me now.  I wish I’d had taken a picture before I lost like 8lbs from dry heaving.  The beginning of this series just looks sick.

9 Weeks - The "I've been dry heaving everything for a few weeks now and look like I'm from a starving country, called in sick to work, and nearly fainted right after taking this picture" stage.

11 weeks - The "I am existing completely on raw cucumber and bananas and am sleeping in my car on my lunch break" stage.

12 weeks - The "I think I may actually be able to hold down a piece of chicken today" stage.

14 Weeks - The "I think I'm starting to feel like a normal person again!" stage.

18 weeks - The "I'm back! I feel normal again! I'm so happy! I think I'm showing now! Can you tell? Can you tell??!" stage.

19 Weeks - The "I'm going to a sushi restaurant and will tell EVERYONE that looks at me that I am only to eat COOKED rolls b/c I think it's SO obvious that I'm pregnant!" stage.

25 Weeks - The "I feel so fat!" stage (that now I look back at and think, "God I hope I look like that again one day...") stage.

26 Weeks - The "I gained 5lbs in a week!" stage. (Hey, it was Christmas!)

28 Weeks - The "Hey what's this stuff on my back and thighs all about?" stage.

29 Weeks - The "I'm already sick of maternity clothes and would rather buy a moo-moo off the clearance rack at Anthropologie" stage.

30 Weeks - The "now I REALLY AM showing, like for reelz!" stage.

31 Weeks - The "Wow how is this already almost over?" stage.

36 Weeks - The "I am legitimately pregnant now and everyone knows it, and I think that I could have this baby ANY MINUTE" stage.

37 Weeks - The "I'm full term now so I'll go to the gym and walk on the treadmill for hours so that I have the baby EARLY!" stage. Ha! Early! Ha!

38 Weeks - The "I could go into labor any moment! I can tell! It's happening - I just felt a tiny pinch in my belly! Labor is here! Grab the car keys!" stage.

39 Weeks - The "Honey are you sure we should go to church on Easter Sunday because I really think my water may break in front of the entire congregation!" stage.

Lola on her due date... the "I think that this due date actually means something" stage.

I hope to not update this blog again until I have a baby.  Please please please, if you pray, please pray that sweet, healthy Poppyseed arrives soon.

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