Oatmeal has a dream about our baby.

When Lola came home and told Oatmeal that she was pregnant, Oatmeal sat down with a goofy smile on his face and said, “I bet it’s a girl.”  Lola sat down in his lap and said, “I KNOW, that’s what I’ve been thinking, too!” 

Then a few weeks later Oatmeal asked Lola what people mean exactly when they say that the sex of the baby was ultimately up to the man.  So we had a quick anatomy lesson. 

(I’m available to educate any of your kids or husbands at any time, people.  My mom didn’t exactly hold back when teaching us this stuff.)

So now that Oatmeal understands that girls provide an X chromosome, and guys can provide either an X or a Y chromosome, I think he has been trying to figure out which one it was in this case.   

Side note: Anytime my mom has ever heard me complain about a boy doing something I don’t understand, she has automatically said, “Sweetie, it’s a Y thing.  It’s just a Y thing.  You can’t understand it.” Wise words, y’all, wise words.

Anyway, so now Oatmeal understands why he is ultimately responsible for the sex of our kid.  And, we are still going to wait until the little thing makes it’s debut in April to find out what it is.  So we’re in for a LONG 7 months of guessing games.  I’m looking forward to it.

So, Oatmeal had a dream about our baby and it went something like this.

The dream was split into 2 parts.  In the first part of the dream, Oatmeal says our baby was a boy, about 4 weeks old, and already walking around. 

Walking around.  Naturally.  Oatmeal is going to be so disappointed when our kid isn’t walking at 4 weeks old.  And honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me too much if he somehow figured out a way to make it happen.  Oatmeal has special powers sometimes, seriously.

So in the second part of our dream, our baby boy had dark hair.  So our kid runs outside (yes he’s a baby and evidently he was under Oatmeal’s care… I was not there), and Oatmeal realizes he hasn’t seen him in a few minutes and has a funny feeling.  He goes outside quickly, and the baby is standing in the grass with Tough Puppy going nuts nearby.  Tough Puppy has a snake carcass in his mouth and is thrashing it all over the place, and evidently there were other snake carcasses all over the yard.  So Oatmeal raced over to the baby, who of course does not appear alarmed, and picked him up.  Oatmeal praised Tough Puppy for protecting our baby from all the snakes.

I’m going to pause for a moment and let this sink in. 

You may need to reread the above paragraph.  It’s a lot to follow.

I wish I could see all of our faces as you read this.  Humor?  Disbelief?  Disgust that Oatmeal would let our 4 week old baby run outside unsupervised?  I know, right?!?

So…. Oatmeal picks up the baby and sees that the little guy has stickers in his hands.  He said that they were these really awful looking burrs and it looked really painful for the baby, although the baby didn’t seem to be in any pain or really care about the burrs. 

Then, the baby lifted his hands and blew at the burrs, sending them shooting like bullets into the air.  Oatmeal said he realized that the baby had put burrs in his hands purposefully and used them as weapons against the snake.  Oatmeal realized how smart our baby was and was extremely smug and proud.

That’s the end of the dream from what I understand from my husband.

Okay.  I don’t feel like there is really any way for me to conclude that story other than to say that’s what Oatmeal told me and I have now reported it to you.  I look forward to any comments or questions. 

Happy Saturday.  And here’s a picture of the ferocious, snake mutilating Tough Puppy.

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