Lola and Poppyseed Go it Alone

This week has been my first week with no help.  The first week I had Oatmeal at home with us all week, and last week my MIL came by each morning so I could shower, eat breakfast, pump, etc.  This week I decided to just go ahead and go it alone with just me and Poppyseed!  I have to learn sometime, right?

So on Monday I drove to the nearest city with both a grocery and a Starbucks (I was having withdrawals after being trapped at home for 2 weeks and eating nothing but meat, fruit and veggies!) and Poppyseed did so well!  I used the Moby wrap in the HEB and she was asleep in minutes, and she also slept in the car.  It was so nice to get out into the land of the living, even if it did mean driving 30ish miles just to go to the grocery!

Oh, and if anyone spotted a new mom nursing her baby in her car in the parking lot of the grocery store, I have no idea who that could have been.  No idea.  (Hey, you do what you have to do, right?)

Side note:  Do any of you have any moby wrap tips?  I have the instruction manual and followed it when I put it on and put her in it, but after about 30 minutes in there it had sort of loosened up and her head was kinda flopping around.   Still useful, but I feel if I had made it tighter from the beginning I’d have never gotten her little body in there in the first place!  Tips??

Then yesterday I realized we’d lost all but 1 of the pacifiers that she likes, plus I had an order of pork to pick up from a farm, so we went back to Brenham to go by Yonder Way for our meat and into Walmart for some pacifiers.   I covered Poppyseed’s entire carseat with a swaddle blanket so that no one could see her and into Walmart we went.  Some lady (about 60ish if I were to guess) walked up and asked if she could see the baby.  I wasn’t really keen on this because I was trying to hurry, but I went ahead and pulled down the blanket so she could have a peek.  Then the woman gasped when I told her Poppyseed was only 2 weeks old and lectured me on bringing such a young baby to Walmart and risking her being exposed to so many germs!

Are you (!*@#)#$)@*@&*!)@ kidding me!?

All I have to say is….  I feel sorry for that lady’s daughters or daughter-in-laws.  I just smiled at her and told her to have a good morning and walked away.  I guess I could have said something more interesting and blamed it on the hormones later, but eh.  It’s not really worth it.  I’m a mom now, I have to get used to opinions and criticism.

Then today, well call me a bum but I just decided to stay here.  We did nothing.  I didn’t even put any clothes on her, she was just naked diaper baby all day. We napped and watched TV and that was pretty much our entire day.  I felt sort of worthless, but hey, I think it’s okay to stay in every so often, right?!

It’s funny because when we first brought her home, I was afraid to really do anything with her but hold her.  If I put her down anywhere (bed, swing, bassinet, bouncer, changing table) she’d cry, so that pretty much meant I always held her or got someone else to hold her if I couldn’t.  This week I quickly realized that if I continued that, I’d never take another shower!  So, I decided that I would adopt a little bit of a routine and slowly work her into it.

I started to feed Poppyseed about every 2.5-3 hours.  I had started out thinking I’d do the whole demand-feeding thing instead, but with all the breastfeeding hiccups in the beginning, I needed some more time between feedings to let myself heal and toughen up.  So I fed every 3 hours all last week, but then I realized she was only eating 7 times a day and all the pediatricians/books/blogs I read have instructed breastfed babies to eat a minimum of 8+ times a day.  So I changed it to every 2.5 hours which means that I sometimes wake her up to eat.  But, after roughly 10 days of this, we are actually both on the same cycle!  She gives me her hunger cues and I realize that it’s actually been about 2.5 hours since the last time she was hungry.  If she falls asleep and I decide to just let her stay asleep, she usually wakes on her own by about 3.5 hours (by which time I am dying to feed her because my chest is in pain).

Her last feeding is at 10 or 11pm (ish) and then she actually sleeps in her bassinet (yes, she is in her bassinet now!  hooray!) until anywhere from 2:30am-3:30am.  I was setting my alarm for 3am to wake her up because last week she was sleeping much longer than that.  I’ve read and been told that this is not good for breastfed babies to go so long without eating (plus it caused major engorgement for me!), so thus the 3am alarm setting began.  But, now that we are sort of on a schedule she wakes up on her own around 2:45 and lets me know that she’s hungry.  Last night I actually woke up before she did, because I was covered in milk at 3:15am, but within seconds of me realizing what was going on I heard rustling in her bassinet.  It appears we are on the same cycle!

So that I can take a shower/pump/get ready for my day, I started putting her down in her crib in the mornings for a nap.  I swaddle her, rock her until she looks a little drowsy, then I lie her down in the crib and sit down nearby and wait until she falls asleep.  This was really difficult the first day, but now I’m seeing a pattern.  She does what I call the “squawk and cough” cry (this is her cry that she does when she is just sort of frustrated but not wet/dirty/gassy/pained) for the first few minutes or so.  I sit there next to her crib for a while until she settles down, and if she doesn’t I pick her up and comfort her and then put her back down and continue to sit there until she falls asleep.  As soon as she appears to be sleeping and I’m positive she isn’t dirty, it’s like the Olympics in my house.  I sprint to the shower where I manage to shampoo/condition/shave/soap/face scrub in about 15% of the time that it took me before having her.  Then I check on her, and by this time she is usually doing a little bit more squawking.  This process goes on until I’ve done a few things like clean the kitchen, eat breakfast, pump, etc.  We’ve only done this for 3 mornings, but already she settles down a little faster in her crib and she sleeps for longer stretches (15-20 minutes instead of 5 minutes) before squawking again.

The positives of this are that (a) I get a shower and some housework done for that 60-75 minutes of “naptime”, and (b) it already seems to be making her a little bit more independent.  I noticed I can now put her in her bouncer or swing and she won’t immediately cry, she actually seems content for 10-20 minutes, and I use those precious minutes to prep dinner, fold laundry, or make lunch for myself.

The negative is that I hate to hear her cry and it makes me feel like a horrible mother, even though I know it’s just the squawk and cough cry and I only do this for 1 nap during the day.

Well, it’s time to feed her, so off I go.  Have a great week!

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Comments

  1. Laura, it really and truly sounds like you are doing so well already, whether you realize it or not. I’m so impressed you guys are already in a “routine” or sorts. As for the Moby… one thing I started doing when I put it on was leaving the fabric kind of twisted instead of making it perfectly smooth. Does that make sense? It was faster to put on for one, and it seemed to fit a little more snug. I put it on TIGHT and then just kinda stretched it to make baby fit.

    Being engorged sucks. Waking up covered in milk sucks. That lady and her judgement sucks. Don’t feel bad. I was taking Logan shopping at 2 weeks also, and he did just fine. Never got sick or anything. If you’re ready then it’s fine.

    Nursing in a parking lot… ah! Good times. All I can say is crank up the A/C.

  2. I was so happy to read this update! You sound like you are doing great (and you look amazing, too, in your previous posts.. I am in awe.) I am impressed with the bassinet sleeping already! I am also so happy to hear that nursing is going well. The Moby Wrap gets easier, and you will get better at putting it on more snuggly so it doesn’t loosen up so much. I found that letting the fabric twist instead of being flat makes it dig into my back, shoulders and side more and get uncomfortable. You are so brave for going out by yourself!

  3. Amie Boster says:

    Hi Lola,

    I know you don’t know me that well but since our husbands work together I feel like we have a small common bond 😉 Ever since you have had this beautiful baby I have been reading your posts. I love being reminded of what my life looked like a decade ago. Yes, my oldest just turned 10 and reading your posts reminds me of when I had her.
    Of course you are Way More of a Super Mom than I was back then, but all of your questions and concerns went through my mind in 2002. I think you are doing a fantastic job! You have done everything so perfectly right! As for the grandma, well, I had a grandma when I had Grace. I learned to respectfully ignore all of her advice.
    I just wanted to let you know that I remember how hard it can be with a baby and not have people and places close. Some days it is a blessing to be far away from everything and just put your feet up (you so deserve to just put those feet up and rest!) I also know how much you yearn to be out and feel “normal” again. You are always welcome to come visit this chaotic homeschooling family, my girls love babies, and I love to hug them and give them back 🙂
    I just have one tiny little thing to mention…..take it or leave it….I had my Grace on April 16th, I tried putting her on a schedule and definitely felt the pain and milk leakage that you are feeling. I, unfortunately, let it go too long and on my first Mother’s Day I had mastitis. It was AWFUL! My only advice is to listen to your body, you sound like you are a major milk producer (like me). It is very easy to get this nasty little infection, it is not to easy to get rid of it. If you ever feel any flu like symptoms that is a key that it is starting. Don’t feel like you have to follow the clock and be in pain. I promise, it is not worth it.

    Blessings to your Beautiful Family, Amie B

    • Thanks so much Amie! I actually would like to come see your crazy homeschooling household one day. 🙂 I was just telling Michael the other day that I would love to talk to you – anyone with five kids and her sanity has got to have some pretty serious tricks up her sleeve!

      • Amie Boster says:

        You name the day and and we will put it on our calendar. If you want to just email me I can send you my number. Can’t wait for our “play date”

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