Lola tricks Oatmeal into going to a marriage seminar, then makes “man salmon.”

Lola: “Honey, don’t forget we are going on a double date tonight.  Want to meet at Lopez at 5:30?”

Oatmeal: “Sure.”

I snickered to myself.  Little did Oatmeal know that this double date was actually dinner at a Mexican restaurant, followed by… a marriage seminar!

Just what Oatmeal LOVES to do on Friday nights!  (Or on any night….)

I admit that it was a bit sneaky to not tell him our real plans.  But I knew that if I had told him a month ago when I signed us up, he would dread it.  I mean, if we have kids one day, I’m not going to tell them a month before their immunizations that they are going to get a shot, but that it will be good for them, now will I?  No, I will tell them we are going to the park, and then be like, “Wait, Mommy needs to run into this doctor’s office real quick and say hi to a customer.  Sit on this table and roll your sleeve up so we can show the nice nurse how strong your arms are.  Oh don’t mind that big needle, did I mention you are about to get a shot?  One – Two – Three – SHOT!  Okay kids, are you ready to go to the park?”

Some of you are wondering if I will be a fit mother.  I wonder the same thing.

Anyhoo, we went to hear Gary Chapman’s talk on “The 5 Languages of Love.”  It was actually funny, and Oatmeal didn’t hate me for taking him there.  Gary Chapman is part author, part pastor, part marriage counselor, and part comedian.  I mean, the dude is funny.  We both got a lot out of it.  If you ever get a chance to hear him talk, you should consider it.

My “Love Language” is Words of Affirmation, meaning I like to hear Oatmeal give me compliments, tell me thank you, say he’s proud of me, etc.  A few weeks ago when we took the “Love Language” online assessment and he found out that was my “love language” he started calling me in the middle of the day to tell me I looked pretty.

He hadn’t seen me yet that day.

He leaves at 6am every day, when Lola is still in bed, and it’s pitch black. 

Yet, he calls to tell me, “Honey you look really pretty today.”  He thinks he’s sooooo clever.

His love language is “Acts of Service.”  I’m going to start cooking him dinner every night… and burning it.

Anyway.

I woke up this morning (at 9am… sleeping late is wonderful) to Oatmeal standing over me asking if I was hungry.  He had scrambled eggs with some diced sweet potatoes and onions, and boy were they good.  He’d also opened up the package of nitrate-free bacon that I bought at Whole Foods last night, and that was good, too.

He even did the dishes.  By hand.  He is a good husband.

He stacks them all up after he does them.  Hey, whatever.  I’ll take it.

Yes, you read that correctly, my husband cooked breakfast while I slept in, and then he did the dishes.

Back off ladies.  You aren’t stealing him.

He’s mine.

After eating our yummy paleo breakfast, I cleaned the house and washed the sheets, which I must confess I kind of like doing.  I enjoy a clean house, and I was standing in the middle of the living room admiring my work and thinking how much I love our home, and I was in a bit of a trance when there was a knock on the door.

Does anyone else jump out of their skin and scream every time there is a knock on the door?  It scared the crap out of me.  Then I saw a face peering in the tiny window of the front door!  Creepy!  Oatmeal did it again.  Why does he love to terrify me? 

Then I peeked out of the other window.

This is why I don’t understand why some people don’t want to live in the country.  Who wouldn’t want to look out and see a 1200 pound animal on their front porch?

This is Black.  Hey Black!

Oatmeal also has a bay horse, named Bay.

He also has a paint horse… named… Paint.

He has another black horse… named… Ayesha.

I dunno.  He’s weird.

So, I got hungry and remembered that I got suckered into a deal at Whole Foods where I purchased $40 worth of Wild Atlantic Sockeye Salmon and got a whole bunch of other things free.  Hey, what can I say, I like deals.

I was going to make the same salmon that I made earlier this week (the one topped with pesto and grilled), but then while I was rinsing off the salmon I looked outside and saw this.

Was I really going to let my man work outside in 104 degree weather, and then feed him pesto topped salmon for lunch?

Heck no.  That’s a MAN, doing MAN’S WORK.  I suddenly felt like I needed to feed him man food. Like a steak.  Or a pork chop.

But, all I had was salmon.  Perhaps, I could marinate the salmon as I would a steak?  And I had 2lbs after all, I could make him a BIG serving of salmon to fill him up after working outside all morning.

Well, my little experiment turned out pretty darn good.  And here is how I did it.

RECIPE FOR “MAN SALMON”

Ingredients:

  • wild caught sockeye salmon (despite the premium price I paid for salmon at Whole Foods to get all the other stuff for “free,” I usually only shell out about $9.99/lb at HEB… and keep in mind that 1lb feeds at least 2)
  • worcestershire sauce
  • spoonful of brown sugar
  • butter (about a tablespoon)
  • olive oil (about a tablespoon)
  • salt
  • pepper
  • garlic powder or granules
  • red pepper

1. First, rinse off your salmon and make sure you don’t need to remove any bones.  Once rinsed and deboned, pour worcestershire sauce in a dish (enough to cover the entire bottom, maybe a 1/2 inch deep), and add a spoonful of brown sugar.

2. Spread the sugar around evenly and then put your salmon face down into the dish.  Let it sit for about 30 minutes.

3. After that half hour is up, get a large skillet (I used cast iron because they are awesome), and put it on medium-high heat. Sprinkle generous amounts of salt, pepper, and garlic onto your salmon.  But, when it’s time to add the red pepper, go easy.  Too much red pepper could light you up later! 

(If you absolutely have to have measurements, use a 1/2 tablespoon of salt, pepper, and garlic powder.  Use a 1/2 teaspoon of red pepper.  I don’t measure, I just eyeball it.)

4. By now your skillet should be nice and hot, so add your olive oil and butter.  Once it’s melted and spread across your skillet, add the salmon.  Immediately turn your heat down to medium.

(Side note: It’s best to add the salmon skin side DOWN at first, which I did not do here. If I’d done it skin side down first, then I’d have been able to peel the skin off of the salmon after I flipped it.  But, eh, there’s always next time.  At least you’ll get it right on your first time!  Also, this will cause some steam/smoke, so you will want to make sure that your oven vent is on.)

5. Let the salmon cook for about 5 minutes, and then flip it over.

6. Let the salmon cook another 3-5 minutes and then test it with a fork.  Serve with veggies!

It was delicious!  Oatmeal said, “Wow honey this is the best salmon you’ve made yet.”  He ate every single bite (and you’ll notice that he had a much larger serving!)

Yet another delicious, paleo, gluten-free, dairy-free meal!

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